Mark is still in the thick of things with school! He’s learning to balance school work and his research. He also took a day to go to Blackfoot to help his dad dig a cellar. He enjoyed running the tractor and backhoe.
Flynn went to the groomer this week. It’s certainly not his favorite activity, but he looks really cute after!! He’s also enjoyed playing with some of the kids in our ward. He’s pretty timid around dogs, but kids are his best friends!
Wednesday evening Mark and I drove down to Murray to hear my social scientist heroes as a celebration of my graduation (and a fun date). John and Julie Gottman have studied marriage relations for 40 years and have made incredible findings and written excellent books. John can watch a couple interact and predict with more than 90% accuracy if their marriage will last– so they really do know their stuff.
We didn’t arrive as early as we had planned, and apparently the people hosting the event also had not planned very well. There was a massive line to get in the building and they just had to start the event late.
We saw a comedy group from BYU, heard from one of the Gottman Institute therapists (Laura Heck), and then heard from the Gottmans.
My biggest take aways from the conference were:
1- find ways to have fun and play with your spouse.
2- don’t fall into a routine with the types of dates you do. Trying new activities releases the same hormones that are released when you are falling in love so doing new things together can strengthen your bond.
3- dream together, and unify in working for that dream.
4- money represents different things to different people (security, freedom, fun, etc). Disagreements about money aren’t really about the money, but about what it represents.
5- conflict in marriage causes physical changes in children. (This could even partially account for the rise in ADHD in children). Parents can buffer against affects by helping children learn to identify and manage their emotions.
6- “When your partner is upset, the world stops and you listen.”
We received a copy of the Gottmans’ new book “Eight Dates,” and we are excited to go through it together.
Our Story: The Bell Family 